On Friday night, Dec. 26th, I was at a house exorcism. As I walked around, trying to sense spirits or demons, I was blessing and reclaiming each room for Jesus. As I did this, God spoke to me.
"You MUST forgive," He said.
I replied, "I am not ready to forgive. I am close, but I want to mean it when I forgive and pray for them."
Then I heard this from my Father: "You are useless to me unless you forgive."
I was stricken with remorse, embarrassment and anger all at the same time. Still I refused to forgive on the basis that it would be superficial, at best, if I forgave without being ready to do so. But it hit me: here I was trying to help others rid their home of the demonic, when I could not rid myself of it. I was trying to expel demons while having demonic thoughts... or rather, expelling demons with demons. Whom, then, was I serving?
So there I stood, unable to bring myself to forgive and useless because of it. Later at home, I again felt the urgency from God to forgive. I realized (or moreover, God told me) that when I do not forgive, it places a wedge between me and God... as well as me and my daughter.
I forgave the men who committed this crime on Friday night. I prayed that they might find Jesus. Since I forgave them, my emotional being has stabilized.
I no longer think of killing them, for the mercy of God has spared my mind and soul. I am no longer tortured by the visions of what these men did to my daughter. Only through the grace of God am I healed in my heart, mind and soul. I still want justice for my daughter and I truly believe my forgiving these men has enabled God's hand to move more freely to that end.
God Bless,
Saul
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
An exercise in forgiveness
Hello!!
The last couple of weeks have been a test of faith for me as well as a test of strength. It started on the 15th of December when my daughter ran away from her home in Colorado Springs. She is 15 years old. I wont go into to much detail about the chain of events that led to this test of faith.
The same night my daughter ran away from home, she was raped, beaten and strangled by two men repeatedly at knife point. This is an active case as it just occurred.
I think that as part of my healing process. I am going to be very candid about my feelings on the crime perpetrated against my daughter. I will give updates on the investigation as well as what I am feeling as time marches on. With that in mind, this is what I feel after learning about this three days ago.
The first thing is my daughter! Is she ok! Thank God they did not get the chance to kill her. Although she says now, she wishes they had.
Then there is the guilt of not being able to protect her from such an awful experience. It weighs on my conscience like nothing I have ever experienced.
Then comes the movie playing the same scenes over and over in my head, of these men doing that to my daughter.
Now comes the WRATH!!!! And the thoughts that accompany it!
Now sprinkle in a little emotional distress in a mind that wont seem to quit.
I ask for Gods mercy through prayer, to take these brutal and murderous, vengeful thoughts from me and to fill me with thoughts of him. And I ask for forgiveness for having those thoughts.
I try to think on God and his glory, love and power.
But twenty minutes later I am repeating the same thought process! It is maddening.
I constantly feel I am on the brink of acting on my vengeful thoughts. If not for Jesus Christ, I would have already done it!
A large part of me feels I am still failing my daughter by not taking my vengeance out on them for stealing my little girls trust, faith, and innocence.
I have a sense of guilt because I am hesitant to fall out of line with Gods commandments. Yet I am guilty of seriously thinking about torture and murder. I cant begin to tell you how many times a day I have to ask forgiveness.
I will continue to post updates on this and hopefully more ministry in the near future.
Keep us in your Prayers and pray harder for my daughter, her name is Marythia.
God bless!!
Saul
The last couple of weeks have been a test of faith for me as well as a test of strength. It started on the 15th of December when my daughter ran away from her home in Colorado Springs. She is 15 years old. I wont go into to much detail about the chain of events that led to this test of faith.
The same night my daughter ran away from home, she was raped, beaten and strangled by two men repeatedly at knife point. This is an active case as it just occurred.
I think that as part of my healing process. I am going to be very candid about my feelings on the crime perpetrated against my daughter. I will give updates on the investigation as well as what I am feeling as time marches on. With that in mind, this is what I feel after learning about this three days ago.
The first thing is my daughter! Is she ok! Thank God they did not get the chance to kill her. Although she says now, she wishes they had.
Then there is the guilt of not being able to protect her from such an awful experience. It weighs on my conscience like nothing I have ever experienced.
Then comes the movie playing the same scenes over and over in my head, of these men doing that to my daughter.
Now comes the WRATH!!!! And the thoughts that accompany it!
Now sprinkle in a little emotional distress in a mind that wont seem to quit.
I ask for Gods mercy through prayer, to take these brutal and murderous, vengeful thoughts from me and to fill me with thoughts of him. And I ask for forgiveness for having those thoughts.
I try to think on God and his glory, love and power.
But twenty minutes later I am repeating the same thought process! It is maddening.
I constantly feel I am on the brink of acting on my vengeful thoughts. If not for Jesus Christ, I would have already done it!
A large part of me feels I am still failing my daughter by not taking my vengeance out on them for stealing my little girls trust, faith, and innocence.
I have a sense of guilt because I am hesitant to fall out of line with Gods commandments. Yet I am guilty of seriously thinking about torture and murder. I cant begin to tell you how many times a day I have to ask forgiveness.
I will continue to post updates on this and hopefully more ministry in the near future.
Keep us in your Prayers and pray harder for my daughter, her name is Marythia.
God bless!!
Saul
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Jihad for Jesus??
Jihad for Jesus
Jihad for Jesus! It sounds wrong on alot of different levels. Here is the thing. Jesus Christ was not a militant in the natural. Jesus is a militant in the spirit realm. You as a Christian are a soldier for Jesus in the natural first and the spiritual second. Jesus when faced with death would not recount his profession of being the Son of God. Why? Because he knew the future of mankind was death without his influence on the world. If you stop and think about what the world would be like if there weren't millions of Christians practicing the commandment "You will not kill"
This is not to say that Christians have not had a major part in their own demise. I am a deeply faithful Christian man, yet I still have to give my anger to God. Such things as Abortion, child molestation, child murder, persecution of Christians, rape and many others, make me angry enough at the perpetrators of these acts to forget ( although temporary ) all about " thou shall not kill.". My anger is righteous, my anger is justified. Thank God almighty I am a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ!
Because if I were not, and I had the same moral value stamped on my spirit. I would most definitely be dead or in prison! I would have the same method of operation as the fundamentalist Islamic radical does. It is said "one mans terrorist is another mans hero". This can be applied to every act of terrorism ever perpetrated against mankind. Sometimes an act of terrorism in these times, becomes an accepted and condoned part of warfare in later years.
Example; During the American revolution the English thought the Americans to be savage and ungentlemanly like, because the Americans saw warfare in a different way than the English. The American commanders used tactics learned from the Native Americans. While the English still tried to fight as gentlemen. The end result we all know, and if the word terrorist would have been in use in the late 1700s, This country would have been known for its terrorist tactics, instead of being the home of the brave. This country, which I fought for in the Army ( 1988-1992 ) owes its very existence to the terrorism inflicted on its enemies. Whether foreign or domestic we have used terrorism in some of the most brutally un-Christian ways.
This brings me back to the fundamental subject of this writing. Jesus!! Jesus would not then tolerate nor does he now tolerate the taking of the life of another. Not even to save himself from certain pain on death. As a Christian I am supposed to take up my cross and follow Jesus. Jesus Christ never did anything that he could have been labeled a terrorist for, nor will I. I will pray for my enemies as I was directed to do. And I will love everyone as I was directed to do. And when my time comes to deny Jesus to save my life! On that day I will die! And I will be happy about it, because in that, is my Jihad for Jesus
Jihad for Jesus! It sounds wrong on alot of different levels. Here is the thing. Jesus Christ was not a militant in the natural. Jesus is a militant in the spirit realm. You as a Christian are a soldier for Jesus in the natural first and the spiritual second. Jesus when faced with death would not recount his profession of being the Son of God. Why? Because he knew the future of mankind was death without his influence on the world. If you stop and think about what the world would be like if there weren't millions of Christians practicing the commandment "You will not kill"
This is not to say that Christians have not had a major part in their own demise. I am a deeply faithful Christian man, yet I still have to give my anger to God. Such things as Abortion, child molestation, child murder, persecution of Christians, rape and many others, make me angry enough at the perpetrators of these acts to forget ( although temporary ) all about " thou shall not kill.". My anger is righteous, my anger is justified. Thank God almighty I am a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ!
Because if I were not, and I had the same moral value stamped on my spirit. I would most definitely be dead or in prison! I would have the same method of operation as the fundamentalist Islamic radical does. It is said "one mans terrorist is another mans hero". This can be applied to every act of terrorism ever perpetrated against mankind. Sometimes an act of terrorism in these times, becomes an accepted and condoned part of warfare in later years.
Example; During the American revolution the English thought the Americans to be savage and ungentlemanly like, because the Americans saw warfare in a different way than the English. The American commanders used tactics learned from the Native Americans. While the English still tried to fight as gentlemen. The end result we all know, and if the word terrorist would have been in use in the late 1700s, This country would have been known for its terrorist tactics, instead of being the home of the brave. This country, which I fought for in the Army ( 1988-1992 ) owes its very existence to the terrorism inflicted on its enemies. Whether foreign or domestic we have used terrorism in some of the most brutally un-Christian ways.
This brings me back to the fundamental subject of this writing. Jesus!! Jesus would not then tolerate nor does he now tolerate the taking of the life of another. Not even to save himself from certain pain on death. As a Christian I am supposed to take up my cross and follow Jesus. Jesus Christ never did anything that he could have been labeled a terrorist for, nor will I. I will pray for my enemies as I was directed to do. And I will love everyone as I was directed to do. And when my time comes to deny Jesus to save my life! On that day I will die! And I will be happy about it, because in that, is my Jihad for Jesus
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Demonic Possession vs House Possession
The common denominator in demonic possession of a person can be found in the end result of the victim: death! The sole purpose of a demon when they possess a human being is to destroy that which God loves, first and foremost. The second biggest reason is to cause torment, fear and confusion. Not only to the victim, but to the victims' loved ones. Imagine watching someone you love going in and out of reality, for weeks, months or years on end. Another reason for demonic possession of a human is to sabotage Gods plan for the victims life. Can a Christian become possessed by a demon? Yes!
It is not a matter of faith or the lack of it which allows a demon to enter a human, but rather openings in our defenses. We are sinners, born into sin. Because of that fact, we sin every day. For us as mortal beings to suggest that a Christian cannot be possessed by an evil spirit is akin to elevating ourselves, upon receiving our salvation, to the level of Jesus Christ. If we are born into sin, we can never attain Christs' level. So, therefore, anyone can be possessed by a demon!
The stronger you are in your walk with Jesus the less likely you are to be possessed. But at the same time, if your walk is strong with Jesus, you will be watched intently for openings to possession. Demons will use things like pornography, drugs, alcohol, pride and greed (to name a few). They use whatever they either already know about you from your past or what they are learning about you right now. They send a fleeting immoral thought about the person you saw today at the store. Innocent enough, but the seed has been planted if you do not recognize the sinful nature of that thought and repent of it.
Once the seed is planted it is like a cancer that grows unchecked. A person can end up completely taken over before they realize what has happened. If they don't get help they can end up doing the devils work. These can include things like molestation, rape, incest, murder, mass murder, serial killing, spree shootings, fratricide, ethnic cleansing. Lawlessness accomplishes two things for a demon in possession of a human -- in the body he has taken over he can spread demoralizing fear and the eventual capture or death of the victim.
With a house, things are a little different. Although the end result can be the eventual possession of a human living in the house, the operations that a demon takes part in while possessing a home are the same as possessing a human (i.e. torment, fear and confusion). When they enter a house they can be there a very long time and go completely undetected. Other times its like a circus set up camp in your living room! Each demon is different in how it operates and some will adapt to find the fears or weaknesses of the people living in the house they have entered.
Once again it is a game of cat and mouse. The demons aren't in a house to rattle chains and produce ghostly apparitions. They are there to find a way into your life, to influence you in small ways at first, to find a crack in your armor. Then they will try to rip the armor off of you and leave you exposed. Demons have no right to a Christians home except that which we as sinners give to them. Whether we know it or not, we invite them into our lives at some level every day.
But now armed with that knowledge, will you do nothing and be slowly taken over?
Or will you stand up to that which cannot harm you, knowing that God is your armor?
Turn to Jesus every day and he will protect you from them. If you do not know Jesus yet,
please come to know him right now! If you live another twenty years on this earth, I believe that sometime with in those next twenty years we will witness every knee bowed! Praise His name.
Saul
It is not a matter of faith or the lack of it which allows a demon to enter a human, but rather openings in our defenses. We are sinners, born into sin. Because of that fact, we sin every day. For us as mortal beings to suggest that a Christian cannot be possessed by an evil spirit is akin to elevating ourselves, upon receiving our salvation, to the level of Jesus Christ. If we are born into sin, we can never attain Christs' level. So, therefore, anyone can be possessed by a demon!
The stronger you are in your walk with Jesus the less likely you are to be possessed. But at the same time, if your walk is strong with Jesus, you will be watched intently for openings to possession. Demons will use things like pornography, drugs, alcohol, pride and greed (to name a few). They use whatever they either already know about you from your past or what they are learning about you right now. They send a fleeting immoral thought about the person you saw today at the store. Innocent enough, but the seed has been planted if you do not recognize the sinful nature of that thought and repent of it.
Once the seed is planted it is like a cancer that grows unchecked. A person can end up completely taken over before they realize what has happened. If they don't get help they can end up doing the devils work. These can include things like molestation, rape, incest, murder, mass murder, serial killing, spree shootings, fratricide, ethnic cleansing. Lawlessness accomplishes two things for a demon in possession of a human -- in the body he has taken over he can spread demoralizing fear and the eventual capture or death of the victim.
With a house, things are a little different. Although the end result can be the eventual possession of a human living in the house, the operations that a demon takes part in while possessing a home are the same as possessing a human (i.e. torment, fear and confusion). When they enter a house they can be there a very long time and go completely undetected. Other times its like a circus set up camp in your living room! Each demon is different in how it operates and some will adapt to find the fears or weaknesses of the people living in the house they have entered.
Once again it is a game of cat and mouse. The demons aren't in a house to rattle chains and produce ghostly apparitions. They are there to find a way into your life, to influence you in small ways at first, to find a crack in your armor. Then they will try to rip the armor off of you and leave you exposed. Demons have no right to a Christians home except that which we as sinners give to them. Whether we know it or not, we invite them into our lives at some level every day.
But now armed with that knowledge, will you do nothing and be slowly taken over?
Or will you stand up to that which cannot harm you, knowing that God is your armor?
Turn to Jesus every day and he will protect you from them. If you do not know Jesus yet,
please come to know him right now! If you live another twenty years on this earth, I believe that sometime with in those next twenty years we will witness every knee bowed! Praise His name.
Saul
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Evil spirits
According to the book of Enoch. When the war in heaven started, the angels who rebelled were cast to the Earth.
While on Earth, the Angels ( now referred to as Watchers ) decided to lay with human women!
This is a quote from chapter 15 Verses 2 through 10.
2. " Wherefore have you forsaken the lofty holy heaven, which endures for ever, and have lain with women; have defiled yourselves with the daughters of men; have taken to yourselves wives; have acted like the sons of the earth, and have begotten an impious offspring?
3. You being spiritual, holy, and possessing a life which is eternal, have polluted yourselves with women; have begotten in carnal blood; have lusted in the blood of men; and have done as those who are flesh and blood do.
4. These however die and perish.
5. Therefore have I given to them wives, that they might cohabit with them; that sons might be born of them; and that this might be transacted upon earth.
6. But you from the beginning were made spiritual, possessing a life which is eternal, and not subject to death for ever.
7. Therefore I made not wives for you, because, being spiritual, your dwelling is in heaven.
8. Now the giants, who have been born of spirit and of flesh, shall be called upon earth evil spirits, and on earth shall be their habitation. Evil spirits shall proceed from their flesh, because they were created from above; from the holy Watchers was their beginning and primary foundation. Evil spirits shall they be upon earth, and the spirits of the wicked shall they be called. The habitation of the spirits of heaven shall be heaven; but upon earth shall be the habitation of terrestrial spirits, who are born on earth.
9. The spirits of the giants shall be like clouds, which shall oppress, corrupt, fall, contend,and bruise upon the earth.
10. They shall cause lamentation. No food shall they eat; and they shall be thirsty; they shall be concealed, and shall not rise up against the sons of men, and against women; for they come forth during the days of slaughter and destruction."
God said it, it is so! Amen!
While on Earth, the Angels ( now referred to as Watchers ) decided to lay with human women!
This is a quote from chapter 15 Verses 2 through 10.
2. " Wherefore have you forsaken the lofty holy heaven, which endures for ever, and have lain with women; have defiled yourselves with the daughters of men; have taken to yourselves wives; have acted like the sons of the earth, and have begotten an impious offspring?
3. You being spiritual, holy, and possessing a life which is eternal, have polluted yourselves with women; have begotten in carnal blood; have lusted in the blood of men; and have done as those who are flesh and blood do.
4. These however die and perish.
5. Therefore have I given to them wives, that they might cohabit with them; that sons might be born of them; and that this might be transacted upon earth.
6. But you from the beginning were made spiritual, possessing a life which is eternal, and not subject to death for ever.
7. Therefore I made not wives for you, because, being spiritual, your dwelling is in heaven.
8. Now the giants, who have been born of spirit and of flesh, shall be called upon earth evil spirits, and on earth shall be their habitation. Evil spirits shall proceed from their flesh, because they were created from above; from the holy Watchers was their beginning and primary foundation. Evil spirits shall they be upon earth, and the spirits of the wicked shall they be called. The habitation of the spirits of heaven shall be heaven; but upon earth shall be the habitation of terrestrial spirits, who are born on earth.
9. The spirits of the giants shall be like clouds, which shall oppress, corrupt, fall, contend,and bruise upon the earth.
10. They shall cause lamentation. No food shall they eat; and they shall be thirsty; they shall be concealed, and shall not rise up against the sons of men, and against women; for they come forth during the days of slaughter and destruction."
God said it, it is so! Amen!
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